410B: Three Strategies for Manifestation & Abundance Thinking {cont'd}

ELLA: 00:00:02

Hey, welcome back. This is part two of part three.

This is part two of the series about living intentional lives, about creating the identity that we want to live out through changing our habits and our behaviors in a way that suits us with awareness, intention, accountability, and so on and so forth. Now, I will not summarize what we talked about in the previous episode, but I will say this. You. You definitely want to start there.

If that's annoying to you because you opened this first, just open up the show notes and click on the link I've given you there and listen to part one first.

But today I want to talk to you about both accountability and manifestation or abundance thinking in a way that makes it real, not wishful, magical thinking. Okay, let's start with accountability. Do you remember how I said that every single one of us is out here experiencing a different version of reality?

And when you realize that our perception is based on our past experiences and beliefs, like, you can absolutely start to see how. Right? Well, researchers believe that prior experiences actually change the strength of the connections between the neurons in our brain.

The strength of those connections, the synapses. The strength of your brain synapses determines how neurons act upon one another. So what does this mean in plain language?

Prior experience alters your synaptic connections. Prior experiences warp the patterns of neural activity.

The brain embeds prior experiences into synaptic connections so that patterns of brain activity are biased toward your previous experiences, biased toward what you already know. Wow. So when we allow for different perceptions and we realize that we are literally not sharing the same reality, then we can own our experience.

We can own our experience and we can allow for others experiences to be true even when they contradict our own.

So we are fighting against the non useful forms of cognitive, of confirmation bias rather, because we can allow that two things can be true depending on where you're coming from. Now, I really felt this when I went to college.

Suddenly I was in a much more diverse environment with people not from my town, not from the same experiences, and not from the same bubble. Right. And it was confronting and fascinating and awesome and scary.

And maybe you've had this experience when you started a new job or traveled to another country. That's why I think travel is so important personally. But until we have existed outside of bubble, we don't know we're in one.

ed media of today. In. In the: 1980

Like there were different cultures available, obviously, but you were in one. Okay, I was in middle class American girl in the suburbs. So my monoculture was.

Was a handful of TV channels, the American Top 40, every John Hughes movie of the 80s, the same five supermodels of the 90s, Teen magazine, and like maybe Catcher in the Rye. When I was feeling misunderstood, right? I shared those experiences and those references with millions of other people.

But today, today I can have every bit of information and entertainment sent to me according to my individual preferences. I mean, just think about that. My podcast feed, my socials feed, my news feed, all reinforce things that I'm already interested in or already believe.

There is no learning about the experience or the perspective of others unless I actively intentionally seek it out or find it by accident, right? Like, where is the growth in that? But so what? Like, how does knowing this help us? Well, to me, it comes down to awareness and accountability.

When I am aware of this and willing to own that my experience, my truth, might different from yours, it changes the way I might experience you. I leave room for you to have your own experience and truth on a societal scale.

If we could allow for the fact that people from different backgrounds, with different inputs, different choices, different experiences, just might be seeing the world differently, right? And for them, they might not be wrong, they might be right for them.

If we could start from a place of empathy, with a posture of learning and work toward a common good instead of a trophy for being rightist, might make a difference, right? But here we're talking about us, our lives, creating the best lives for ourselves.

So in my own home and in my own relationships, it helps me regulate my emotional triggers. It can do this for you, your responses in stressful situations with anyone, from a loved one again to a customer service rep.

We are having a different experience here. And recognizing that can change how you approach it. Parenting, money, how you fight.

Like, you might think you're bickering over who should take the dog out, but you're actually stepping all over each other's childhood wounds. That's what this is in a relationship, when we know this, we can see it. So we can own it and we can call it out.

We can say what it is that changes relationship dynamics. When we can be the adult and say, wait, I think I'm having a different experience here. Like, I understand you are having a different experience here.

Let me share mine. That's different than arguing over who is rightist. The bottom line is in the world, in your life, whether it's on a Global scale or in your backyard.

It helps you manage your own emotional responses when you realize that the other person or peoples are a product of individual perceptions and experiences and interpretations, not objective truth, just like you. And that, that is true accountability. Okay, that brings me to the final pillar here. This is the third strategy that I want to share with you.

Or like the third concept, ra, I want to share with you.

And that is what we focus on grows and the idea that we can control our outcomes and even create abundance for ourself, the good stuff by what we focus on. And some people call it by another name, manifestation. And it sounds like magic, right? Think about it. What you focus on grows.

Can I think of having 5 million in my bank account? And therefore I will, like some say yes, some people really believe that, but I see it differently. I just. That's not the question for me.

This is how I see it. If I focus on how healthy and energetic I am, I will create the experience from that place.

If I focus on helping someone change their view of themselves by sharing new ways of thinking, I will create from that place. If you believe that your point of view is of value to someone, you will create an offering that serves them in some way. It's not magic.

It's intention rooted in belief and identity. So, yeah, we're coming full circle. I think we need to go back and listen to all three parts of this series again.

Another way to think about this is I control my destiny. I'm in the driver's seat here. I can create or I can contract, I can expand or I can tighten everything up and protect it.

That is an incredible amount of power to have. You are in the driver's seat. We all have it and if we're not aware of it, it's just running us, it's driving us, you know what I mean?

On autopilot, you went from the driver's seat to the passenger seat and put it in self driving mode. We have the ability to create.

We have the ability to create our own reality by putting ourselves in the space of who we want to be and proceeding from there. By putting ourselves in a space of the energy of what we want and proceeding from there. There's a woman whose name I will absolutely butcher.

I'm going to try. It's like Olesia Laroski.

I will give her proper credit in the show notes, but she spoke about this perfectly and summed up everything she learned as a Harvard psychology grad in two seconds. Here are her exact words. She said, scarcity is stressful. For the mind, abundance is healing.

I want you to really hear that scarcity is stressful for the mind, abundance is healing.

Basically, whenever we focus on things that are scarcity inducing to the mind, whether it's time scarcity or financial scarcity or relationship scarcity, this is very stressful to the mind and it will run processes that are associated with this stress.

When you fall into a toxic ruth, when you're hyper focused on what you don't have and what is wrong in your life, you make it significantly harder to grow and move forward, right? If you only concentrate on what you don't have, you can't build or create or get to what you want.

You're too busy concentrating on what you don't have, on the absence.

This can look like thoughts like, I have no money or I'm going to be single forever or I'll never be happy or I should have started my business by now. Like, that type of thinking supports a reality based on the underlying belief that you will never achieve what you desire. Those thoughts constrict.

They are stressful for the mind. We cannot create from there. Abundance thinking, on the other hand, means that you focus on all that is instead of what you don't yet have.

Like it's all out there whether you have it or not. You're focused on all that is all that is available, not on what you don't have.

So those thoughts look like, oh, there's plenty of money to be made, oh, there's plenty of love to be had. Oh, there's plenty of success out there. For me, it's out there. I just need to plug in. It's all out there for me. I can't wait to get it.

And for me, like, personally I have struggled with this. I'm not gonna lie, I am wired for skepticism and self doubt. So many times when I hear abundance thinking, I'm like, oh, how magical for you.

That is toxic positivity. And I want you to know something. I'm wrong. I am dead wrong.

Research shows that people experiencing positive emotions tend to have a broader scope of attention, an expanded perspect that allows for more creative problem solving and openness to new experiences. Conversely, negative emotions narrow our focus, limit our perceived options and our responses, and this makes sense.

Like think about it from an evolutionary perspective. In an emergency, for example, you get laser focused, right? Like you're not suddenly inspired to write poetry. You know what I mean?

If something scary happens or something threatening happens, you're like, you are dialed in. You're not like, oh, I wonder where I'll go on vacation next. Like, it just, it just makes sense.

And I have proven myself wrong every single time I live out the truth of abundance thinking.

So for me, if I put myself in a space as an example with amazing women and we're brainstorming about things we want to do, things we want to create, things we want to build, this can just be a conversation. It can be a dinner with a group of women or it can be one of the events that we hold.

But whenever I put myself in those spaces and we're talking about things that we love and want to do, I am lit. Like lit up. I am unstoppable. That energy, that abundance energy could power a city. I swear. Like I am a force of nature when I am in that zone.

Can you think of circumstances or examples of when you are really like almost vibrating with possibility? Because that's what I'm talking about. That's the energy that gives birth to creation, to new things, to expansion. So how do we do it?

Like, how do we shift in our day to day? How do we go from contracting with fear, self doubt concerns to expanding with possibility? And it comes back to what we focus on.

It comes back to what we focus on grows. Part one of this conversation, what we focus on grows. So we get to choose that lens. And here's what that looks like for me.

It's when I focus on what I have versus what I don't. When I focus on the gains, not the gap. When I actively and loudly support other women and don't hold fear that there won't be any pie for me. Right.

I feel that there's enough love and enough success and enough wellness for everyone to have their share. Thank God. I feel that way because it makes this a lot easier. I know that. I believe that to be true. There's enough for everyone.

So it never threatens me when others get theirs. There's no pie. It's not a pie. It's infinite in so many areas. This comes really easy to me. And in others, not so much.

Like there are places where I struggle with this. Where does it come easily for you? Like, where are you absolutely dialed in to the energy of abundance? And where do you struggle?

Like, do you feel there's not enough money for you? There's not enough affection, there's not enough love, there's not enough attention. I think it's really useful to ask ourselves these questions.

I think it helps us identify things that we might be blind to that are actually dictating how we experience others and how we experience life in general if we aren't paying attention. So I created a worksheet for us that accompanies this final installment of this series.

I've mentioned it before and that worksheet will help you reflect on the things that we talked about today. How our perception influences our reality, asking ourselves, where do I have confirmation bias that's affecting my experience?

Where could I use more appreciation instead of expectation? Where does abundant thinking come easily for me? Where does scarcity create stress for me and hold me back?

So yeah, in case I haven't mentioned it, that worksheet can be found in the show notes, in your podcast app and in the blog that accompanies this episode.

Okay, so we started this journey in December talking about the energy that we're bringing into this new year and we've broken it down into three parts for a total of four episodes. I will link them all here. So it's one little self improvement kit for us all. If you want to explore this more, there are several ways to do it.

One is to look into coaching one on one with me.

Another is to take a look at joining us in May at our women's event where we will be experiencing these principles, literally creating these experiences for ourselves. And another way is I can just send you all four of these episodes in the worksheet so you can self study.

Just DM me the word abundance in Instagram and I'll send you the whole package. Okay. I hope this was useful. I hope you realize the immense power that you have, that I have, that we have.

It's worth pointing out how that power comes together synergistically when we get in spaces together. So thank you for coming to this space today. Just having this conversation with you has shifted my energy.

Like it's impossible to talk about this, to listen to this, to think about this and not shift your energy, which is just a beautiful self fulfilling prophecy. So thank you. You inspire me and I may have mentioned before, but you are awesome.

Okay, if you enjoyed today's show, please share it with someone you care about and be sure to check out our new YouTube channel and head to onairella.com for today's show notes. You can also learn about how to work with me there on airela.com and I would love to hear from you.

So if you DM me on Instagram I promise I will reply. P.S. all the links you need for us to connect are right here in your podcast app in the description for today's episode. Check them out.

Thanks for listening. And thanks for inspiring me. You are, quite simply awesome.