397: The Power of Pausing: How to Take Stock & Listen to Your Inner Voice - Becky Vollmer

Ella: 00:00:01

Welcome, you're on air with Ella, where we share simple strategies and tips for living a little better every day.

Ella: 00:00:07

If you're interested in mindset and wellness, or healthy habits and relationships, or hormone health, aging well, and eating well, honestly, if you're just into living better and with more energy, then you're in the right place.

Ella: 00:00:21

We're not here for perfect.

Ella: 00:00:22

We're here for a little better every day.

Ella: 00:00:25

Let's go.

Ella: 00:00:29

Hey, Becky.

Ella: 00:00:30

Welcome to the show.

Becky: 00:00:31

Hey, Ella.

Ella: 00:00:32

Becky, could you tell us who you are and what you do?

Becky: 00:00:35

I'm a corporate dropout.

Becky: 00:00:37

I'm a yoga teacher.

Becky: 00:00:39

I'm somebody who's super passionate about empowerment and choice.

Becky: 00:00:43

And so kind of to bring all that to life.

Becky: 00:00:45

I write about it, I talk about it, I teach classes and lead workshops about it.

Ella: 00:00:50

Okay.

Ella: 00:00:50

And you wrote a great book called you'd are Not Stuck.

Ella: 00:00:53

And I've not only just enjoyed reading it, I've enjoyed applying it.

Ella: 00:00:57

I wanted to talk to you about some of the principles in that book, but really, at the end of the day, Beth, Becky, we're talking about both of our life's work, right?

Ella: 00:01:03

Which is just helping women operate intentionally, helping women get off of autopilot so that their life makes sense to them and isn't just happening to them.

Ella: 00:01:13

Does that resonate with you?

Becky: 00:01:15

Oh, my God, completely.

Becky: 00:01:16

I mean, so much of the first four decades of my life was spent in large part just doing what I thought I was supposed to do next without really pausing to take stock of.

Becky: 00:01:29

Was this what I really wanted?

Becky: 00:01:31

Did this fit with, you know, the longer term vision I had for myself?

Becky: 00:01:35

It was all just, you know, so narrowly focused on achievement and being, you know, being the best at whatever I was doing, whether that was at work or whether that was, you know, being a mom.

Becky: 00:01:47

I just wanted to be the best at that.

Becky: 00:01:49

And it took me a long time to realize that I might have been doing things well, but I was kind of killing myself slowly in the process.

Becky: 00:01:57

And so when I took the time to look around and, you know, look forwards and backwards and sideways and up and down, I realized there are different choices to be made here.

Becky: 00:02:07

No matter, you know, kind of no matter how much energy and time I've invested in getting where I am, I can choose to do something different going forward.

Ella: 00:02:16

Well, you said you took the time like you.

Ella: 00:02:18

You paused in some way, whether literally or metaphorically, you paused in some way and took an assessment of your life.

Ella: 00:02:25

What made you do that?

Becky: 00:02:26

Oh, gosh.

Becky: 00:02:27

Which time?

Ella: 00:02:29

Fair enough.

Becky: 00:02:30

You know, I.

Becky: 00:02:31

To condense my story into a, you know, super quick nutshell, kind of where I had all of the practice in learning to, you know, pause, recognize where I was miserable, reassess and make some big choices.

Becky: 00:02:45

At a span of about five years where I finally, finally decided I give up on the corporate world.

Becky: 00:02:52

I, you know, I had two little kids.

Becky: 00:02:54

I want to spend time with them while they're young.

Becky: 00:02:57

So I made a huge career pivot.

Becky: 00:03:00

About exactly a year later, I got really honest with myself and recognized that I had indeed followed in the family footsteps that I swore I would never follow in.

Becky: 00:03:12

And I realized that I had a real problem with alcohol.

Becky: 00:03:16

And so I quit drinking almost exactly a year after that.

Becky: 00:03:21

My marriage of a dozen years completely imploded in a way that I didn't see coming.

Becky: 00:03:26

And, you know, that left the choice of, do I stay, do I go?

Becky: 00:03:30

What are the impacts to, you know, the people I love?

Becky: 00:03:34

And, you know, a couple years after that, there was this journey of falling in love again and remarrying.

Becky: 00:03:42

And, you know, at every one of those junctures, I paused long enough and asked myself what I thought were really powerful questions.

Becky: 00:03:52

Even when I didn't have the answers, I just kept asking the questions.

Becky: 00:03:55

And eventually stuff bubbles up, wisdom bubbles up.

Becky: 00:04:00

But if we don't stop long enough to ask, if we're not willing to get, you know, kind of deep in the yucky, mucky mess of things, and if we're not willing to make a big change, then we're just going to stay stagnant forever.

Ella: 00:04:15

Yeah.

Ella: 00:04:15

And it's.

Ella: 00:04:15

It's simple, but it's not easy.

Ella: 00:04:17

Right?

Ella: 00:04:18

So it's so easy to look at other people operating in this world, whether it's in social media or maybe even in your real life, and it looks like they have their act together.

Ella: 00:04:29

And I would submit to us that 99.999% of us, we either have to force ourselves to stop and assess or we don't do it at all.

Ella: 00:04:41

Because, again, it's simple.

Ella: 00:04:42

We're talking about asking ourselves questions like, what's working, what's not?

Ella: 00:04:47

How do I feel?

Ella: 00:04:48

What do I need?

Ella: 00:04:50

And some of us have not asked ourselves that question in decades, if ever.

Ella: 00:04:56

And it feels like to me, it.

Ella: 00:04:59

It can feel like when you're looking out, that other people just have their act fully together.

Ella: 00:05:04

Becky, do you ever feel like that?

Ella: 00:05:05

Like, everybody else is sorted and so what is your deal?

Becky: 00:05:09

All the.

Becky: 00:05:11

Hi.

Becky: 00:05:11

But the, you know, the good thing is that I've.

Becky: 00:05:13

I've learned to know better.

Becky: 00:05:16

I.

Becky: 00:05:16

I lead a lot of workshops and retreats.

Becky: 00:05:18

And my favorite ones are, like, the.

Becky: 00:05:20

The long weekends at a big yoga center where, you know, kind of the defenses start to fall away.

Becky: 00:05:25

And when people start sharing, I mean, everything from how unhappy they truly feel on the inside that they don't let anybody else see or how deeply confused or conflicted they are or, you know, how deeply they long for something else.

Becky: 00:05:42

But there's all sorts of things that stand in the way.

Becky: 00:05:44

Like, I feel.

Becky: 00:05:45

I don't feel like I deserve it, or I don't feel like I'm qualified to go.

Becky: 00:05:49

To go do that, or, you know, who.

Becky: 00:05:51

Who do I think I am?

Becky: 00:05:52

Right?

Becky: 00:05:53

There's all these little voices inside that will shoot us down before we even get started.

Becky: 00:05:57

But when I watch women sit in a room and open themselves up to those thoughts and those conversations, you can't help but recognize, oh, what's happening in my head is happening in your head and in your head and in your head, Ella.

Becky: 00:06:12

And in that way, we're just.

Becky: 00:06:14

We're all trying to figure out the same things.

Ella: 00:06:17

How do you discern whether it's yourself or whether you're with a group of women, Becky?

Ella: 00:06:22

How do you discern between what fear is telling you and what your.

Ella: 00:06:27

Your soul is telling you?

Becky: 00:06:29

Mm.

Becky: 00:06:30

That's a great, wonderful, rich, and loaded question.

Ella: 00:06:33

It's just a light softball.

Becky: 00:06:35

Yeah, just a little one, but it's one that we.

Becky: 00:06:37

We talk about.

Becky: 00:06:39

They.

Becky: 00:06:39

They want to know what that discernment looks like.

Ella: 00:06:42

And we don't trust ourselves, Becky.

Ella: 00:06:44

A lot of times, even if we do make time to pause and to get quiet with ourselves, even if it's three minutes, Becky, Even if it's in the car, in the shower, or whatnot, we don't trust the voices that we're hearing, and that's what's behind the question.

Ella: 00:06:58

Sorry to interject, but I just think so many people face this and aren't sure what voice they're listening to.

Becky: 00:07:04

Yeah, I, for one, hear a lot of voices in my head.

Ella: 00:07:08

You're in a safe space, Becky.

Becky: 00:07:10

Tell us all about this.

Becky: 00:07:12

I will say, though, I worked a lot on trying to distinguish for myself what felt like the voice of deep wisdom and what felt like what I call the pip squeak, twerp.

Becky: 00:07:26

You know, that voice in my head that is so freaking naggy and judgmental and full of.

Becky: 00:07:34

Yeah, buts.

Becky: 00:07:36

And the more I learned to distinguish them, the more I learned which one was really had my.

Becky: 00:07:42

My deeper best interest at heart.

Becky: 00:07:43

So that that pipsqueak twerp here's how I know.

Becky: 00:07:46

Here's how I know it's the voice of fear.

Becky: 00:07:48

If within my inner speech or in even my outer speech in conversation, if there is a voice that says, yeah, But I think 99 out of a hundred times, that is the voice of fear, you know, yeah, I want to do xyz.

Becky: 00:08:02

Yeah, but you're too old to do that.

Becky: 00:08:05

Yeah, but you don't know the first thing about that.

Becky: 00:08:07

Yeah, but you've been doing this.

Becky: 00:08:10

Why would you, you know, this is, this is good enough.

Becky: 00:08:13

Why would you want something else?

Becky: 00:08:15

What is that?

Becky: 00:08:15

What I find is the deeper, truer voice within us has the ability to say rather than.

Becky: 00:08:21

Yeah, but has the ability to say, I would like to do that, but I feel fearful for this reason.

Becky: 00:08:30

I would like to do that, but I have this concern about this angle.

Becky: 00:08:36

And instead of attaching, like wearing the chains of all those YA bots, we can almost step back a little bit to the place of a conscious observer and have a little more accuracy about our assessment.

Ella: 00:08:49

Yeah, I think it's a mistake to try to exist in this world without fear and to somehow cure yourself from having.

Ella: 00:08:58

I mean, I am never going to be fearless.

Ella: 00:09:01

You know how social media wants you to be a fearless bad bitch?

Ella: 00:09:04

Like, that's like.

Ella: 00:09:05

No, I, I, I choose to be fierce.

Ella: 00:09:09

I want to be a force of nature.

Ella: 00:09:10

I want to be A few other f words, maybe even.

Ella: 00:09:13

But fearless is not on my list of things to be.

Ella: 00:09:17

But Becky, I do think that we are empowered to learn, first of all, which voice is which.

Ella: 00:09:24

And I love your ye.

Ella: 00:09:26

That's so helpful.

Ella: 00:09:27

So discern which voice is which, and then it is perfectly acceptable and in my opinion, realistic to turn the volume down on fear so that you can turn up what your soul is asking for.

Ella: 00:09:41

I don't think it's an eradication.

Ella: 00:09:43

I think it's volume controls.

Becky: 00:09:46

I think you're absolutely right.

Becky: 00:09:48

Because if I'm scared, I don't move an inch.

Becky: 00:09:51

If I'm scared, my back is literally physically.

Becky: 00:09:56

My shoulder blades are glued to the, to the corner corners of a wall.

Becky: 00:09:59

But when I'm realistic about the fears of my ego versus the voice of my soul, I mean, the voice of our soul speaks in such a different tone, it's impossible to miss.

Becky: 00:10:13

And I'll give you a great example.

Becky: 00:10:15

I mentioned that it took me a number of years to recognize that I did indeed have a problem with alcohol.

Becky: 00:10:21

I'm somebody that I was a daily, daily wine drinker for probably 20 years, except for when I was pregnant and nursing, my drinking had reached a point where for years I knew it was something that I wanted to do differently and that I knew I had to do differently.

Becky: 00:10:42

And every year I would make a New Year's resolution.

Becky: 00:10:44

You know, all of those rules that you put on, on the situation when you're trying to moderate, like, I'll only drink.

Becky: 00:10:50

Drink on the weekends, or I'll only have wine with dinner, or I'll only.

Becky: 00:10:55

I'll only drink if I go to the gym.

Becky: 00:10:57

All of those things that are, you know, it's a good college.

Becky: 00:11:00

Try to stay with our bad habits, but it just doesn't work right.

Ella: 00:11:04

And this is just today, but tomorrow I'll be better.

Ella: 00:11:07

Future me has this.

Ella: 00:11:08

Today me is going to do this.

Ella: 00:11:10

Future me will take care of it.

Becky: 00:11:12

That's right.

Becky: 00:11:13

That's right.

Becky: 00:11:13

Well, my future me was always like, oh, no, no, I really like this too much that I'm not, you know, you're going to have to pry it out of my cold, dead future.

Ella: 00:11:21

You was like, cheers.

Becky: 00:11:24

Pretty much.

Becky: 00:11:25

Pretty much.

Becky: 00:11:26

But then I had this experience of being in a.

Becky: 00:11:30

In a really powerful yoga class and being asked by the instructor to, you know, we were so deep physically and.

Becky: 00:11:39

And spiritually and emotionally, and we were being asked to reflect on what are some habits, what's one thing that we carry forward from our lineage just out of habit, just out of autopilot that we wish we didn't.

Becky: 00:11:52

And, man, the voice in my head.

Becky: 00:11:54

I had never heard a voice in my head like this.

Becky: 00:11:57

It wasn't a whisper, it wasn't a joke.

Becky: 00:12:00

It was a bellow.

Becky: 00:12:03

That voice bellowed, you drink too much.

Becky: 00:12:08

And I was frozen.

Becky: 00:12:10

And the only.

Becky: 00:12:11

The only part of me that was working were my tears.

Becky: 00:12:15

And I was just sitting there with my eyes closed and tears.

Becky: 00:12:19

And I just.

Becky: 00:12:20

I didn't decide so much as I listened to my soul and recognized this is my moment of change.

Becky: 00:12:30

And so, you know, probably those last eight or ten years of my brain trying to figure out how I could quit all that effort just sort of got overridden in one moment of my soul taking charge, and then all I could do was listen and obey.

Ella: 00:12:47

Do you know how many people hear that, Becky, and feel jealous, like, actually jealous?

Ella: 00:12:53

Because it's like, you got the billboard.

Ella: 00:12:54

You know, some people are waiting in their life for the billboard.

Ella: 00:12:59

In your case, it was actually a verbal command, if you will.

Ella: 00:13:02

So many people want answers to things and they feel like it's going to come from the outside.

Ella: 00:13:08

What you're describing came entirely from the inside.

Ella: 00:13:13

You got still and quiet, and it was intrinsic to you.

Becky: 00:13:18

Yeah.

Ella: 00:13:19

It's almost hard not to be envious of that still, though, Becky, because so many people, they want that.

Ella: 00:13:24

They want to just be told, like, just tell me what to do.

Ella: 00:13:27

Just tell me who to be.

Ella: 00:13:29

Just sort of Amazon prime me, who I'm supposed to be and what I'm supposed to do and what is my life's purpose.

Ella: 00:13:36

I mean, I really do think that so many people struggle just with that very concept.

Ella: 00:13:43

And what I would offer just from my own personal point of view and my own experience is that it's all in you.

Ella: 00:13:52

In this story that Becky's sharing right now is one of stillness and quiet and finding the time to listen.

Ella: 00:14:00

So it is never going to come from the outside in.

Ella: 00:14:04

In my humble, humble opinion, it will always spring forth from deeply inside.

Ella: 00:14:10

But we have to make a little bit of space for that to happen.

Becky: 00:14:14

You couldn't be more right.

Becky: 00:14:17

And it has me thinking about all of the times making a decision around alcohol, but also in other ones, you know, wanting to leave that corporate job that was, you know, sucking my soul dry or ultimately choosing to leave a marriage where I wasn't loved anymore.

Becky: 00:14:33

You know, those were.

Becky: 00:14:35

They were all agonizing inner conflicted conversations.

Becky: 00:14:41

And I think the trick is learning to learning to give ourselves a little bit of grace, that when we hear even a faint voice within say, you know, just kind of be like, hey, hey, I'm gonna say something important.

Becky: 00:14:57

Give ourselves the grace to know that that's not a false voice.

Becky: 00:15:01

It might sound really timid in the beginning, but I think we owe it to ourselves to listen to those, you know, those little murmurs earlier on and then be curious enough to keep following those breadcrumbs.

Becky: 00:15:15

If I had listened to that earlier on and not just dismissed it as me being not tough enough to hack it or not strong enough, I could have really recognized the tangible detriments that my situation was having on my mental health.

Becky: 00:15:32

And maybe I would have acted sooner.

Ella: 00:15:34

Isn't that why, though, Becky, so many of us don't and feel like we can't is because the truth isn't always pretty?

Ella: 00:15:42

I had a practice marriage myself, and in that practice marriage, that's how I refer to my failed marriage.

Becky: 00:15:49

I refer to mine as my starter.

Becky: 00:15:52

I know, I.

Becky: 00:15:53

This is my third.

Ella: 00:15:53

That might be better.

Ella: 00:15:54

I used to call him my late husband, and he was like, could you stop?

Ella: 00:15:57

Like, I'm alive.

Ella: 00:15:58

Anyway, we're great friends now.

Ella: 00:15:59

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Ella: 00:16:00

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Ella: 00:17:22

I remember never being still.

Ella: 00:17:25

Just go, go, go, go.

Ella: 00:17:27

And by the way, I'm not still by nature, okay?

Ella: 00:17:29

This is something I have to do with a great deal of intention and a little bit of effort, if I'm being honest.

Ella: 00:17:34

But I did not want to be alone with my thoughts because they weren't pretty.

Ella: 00:17:39

I would have had to admit that I was not happy.

Ella: 00:17:42

I would have had to admit that I had made a mistake and that I was miserable and that I couldn't believe that I had sort of put myself into a situation that I considered to be absolutely permanent rest of my life.

Ella: 00:17:57

So I would avoid myself.

Ella: 00:17:59

And then that came out sideways, as you describe.

Ella: 00:18:03

And coincidentally, I'm sure I started, I developed a binge eating habit.

Ella: 00:18:07

Well, that was probably just a coincidence.

Ella: 00:18:09

Or it was me not being willing to deal with my own emotions and so just eating them instead.

Ella: 00:18:17

And of course, you can take that consequence and you can replace it with anything.

Ella: 00:18:24

You can replace it with over consumption of anything, under consumption of anything.

Ella: 00:18:28

Any coping mechanism tends to be.

Ella: 00:18:31

I'm not a psychologist, but any coping mechanism is a message.

Ella: 00:18:36

And if we would just be willing to look at the ugly truth in the face, there's so much more happiness on the other side of it.

Becky: 00:18:43

Was that your experience a Million percent every single time.

Becky: 00:18:48

You know, the more willing that I have been to be honest, first with myself, most importantly with myself, and then with other people, that the quicker I'm able to come to resolution about what I need, what choices I'm willing to make, what, you know, what I'm not willing to do.

Becky: 00:19:08

And I get with that clarity comes trust.

Becky: 00:19:12

And when we feel like we can trust it, it gives us the fortitude and the confidence to come face to face with all those icky, yucky, scary things that we'd rather not see.

Becky: 00:19:24

I think of it often as picking up a big rock.

Becky: 00:19:28

You look at the bottom side of it and it's mud and it's dirt and it's worms and it's bu.

Becky: 00:19:33

And the first thing I want to do when I see something like that is I want to slam it back down to the ground.

Becky: 00:19:38

But the more I am willing to sit with my rock and all the creepy crawlies and be a little disgusted, but also a little curious and compassionate, the better able I am to choose for my long term benefit.

Ella: 00:19:54

If we acknowledge that change starts with recognizing and like almost honoring the fact that the life that you're living isn't the one that you want.

Ella: 00:20:03

Like, you're recognizing it, you're looking it in the face, you might even be saying it out loud because remember, you're dragging that into the light.

Ella: 00:20:08

If we recognize that change starts there, from that point, it's time to start getting off of autopilot.

Ella: 00:20:15

It's time to start inserting choice into your day.

Ella: 00:20:19

Becky, can we talk about really practical ways?

Ella: 00:20:22

Like what does that mean?

Ella: 00:20:23

How do we ground this in reality, in the day to day, in the tiny, boring decisions we make athletic thousand times a day.

Ella: 00:20:30

What is getting off of autopilot look like?

Becky: 00:20:33

I would start with values, recognizing what our values are, because that's what's going to inform all of our choices, all of our decisions, big and small, like writing them down, even just thinking about them or thinking how they might have changed over the years while you haven't been paying attention to them.

Becky: 00:20:53

You know, we evolve as people.

Becky: 00:20:55

Wouldn't it make sense that our values will evolve too?

Becky: 00:21:00

What do I value?

Becky: 00:21:02

What's important to me right now?

Becky: 00:21:04

Because surely it's not what was important to you when you were 20.

Ella: 00:21:07

Yeah, God help us.

Becky: 00:21:09

Yeah, really.

Becky: 00:21:09

Hopefully it's not the same thing.

Becky: 00:21:11

So to first of all understand the evolution of values, but then also to put it in the context of your priorities, you know, if values light the way priorities are, that's that's how we live out our values.

Becky: 00:21:26

And so I tend to think of what goes into me living my priorities is all the currency I have to spend.

Becky: 00:21:32

And by that, I don't just mean money.

Becky: 00:21:34

I mean, you know, my emotional currency, my attention, my intention, my time, my energy.

Becky: 00:21:41

How am I spending it?

Becky: 00:21:42

And a lot of times when people, you know, sit down and take the time to assess how.

Becky: 00:21:50

How everything is prioritized right now in this moment versus how they might prioritize all that currency if they were living their current values, not the ones they inherited, they recognize there's a huge gap in there, which leaves a lot of room for small incremental changes.

Becky: 00:22:11

So if, you know, I'll take myself as an example.

Becky: 00:22:13

If I'm somebody, let's say I say I value my sobriety, which I do greatly.

Becky: 00:22:19

But if I'm not doing anything to support it, right?

Becky: 00:22:22

If I'm not, you know, reading, if I'm not talking to sober people, if I'm not going maybe to support meetings, then it's just lip service.

Becky: 00:22:33

I'm not actually prioritizing my sobriety.

Becky: 00:22:36

If we want to make change in a certain area, we've got to give that area what it deserves.

Ella: 00:22:43

Yeah, you have to feed and water it a little bit if you expect it to stay and if you expect it to become a part of your identity.

Ella: 00:22:51

I think that those who are joining us in this conversation today, Becky, I think that if there's one takeaway, it's to ask yourself, like, to spend your next solo drive, your next long shower, your next walk, Just ask yourself a few questions.

Ella: 00:23:08

It's essentially, what is working in my life?

Ella: 00:23:11

What is not?

Ella: 00:23:13

How do I actually feel?

Ella: 00:23:15

What do I want?

Ella: 00:23:17

What do I need?

Ella: 00:23:20

Becky, by the way, when people come to you and they say, I have no idea what I want, because I bet a lot of people can say, here's what's working, here's what's not.

Ella: 00:23:28

Here's how I feel.

Ella: 00:23:29

Here's how I really feel.

Ella: 00:23:31

Here's what I think I need, but I'm probably not focused on.

Ella: 00:23:34

But when you ask women what they want, why do our heads explode?

Ella: 00:23:39

Or we go to, like, a private chef in a masseuse, maybe, but, like, what do I want for myself?

Ella: 00:23:45

Why is that the hardest question on earth to answer?

Becky: 00:23:48

We're trained to care about everybody else's wants and everybody else's needs.

Becky: 00:23:54

We have been given the role, and there's a, you know, a biological basis for it.

Becky: 00:24:01

But we are.

Becky: 00:24:02

We are natural caretakers.

Becky: 00:24:04

So There's.

Becky: 00:24:05

There's that consideration there.

Becky: 00:24:07

There's also.

Becky: 00:24:08

I can speak only for myself here, but it's a little bit like looking at the menu at the Cheesecake Factory, right?

Becky: 00:24:17

There are 10 billion options.

Becky: 00:24:20

So many options that they're almost paralyzing.

Becky: 00:24:23

And so I will go back to the same thing I get every time, which is the Tex Mex egg rolls.

Becky: 00:24:29

But what if.

Becky: 00:24:31

What if I really allowed myself to explore the entirety of what's possible?

Becky: 00:24:38

What if I didn't always just go back to what was familiar?

Ella: 00:24:41

Is this a coincidence that you are the second person that I've talked to that has used a Cheesecake Factory?

Ella: 00:24:46

I've never been to one.

Ella: 00:24:48

I'm guessing their menu is an encyclopedia.

Becky: 00:24:50

Uh, it's a whole.

Becky: 00:24:52

It's a whole set of encyclopedias.

Ella: 00:24:53

Okay, everyone, you can Google that.

Ella: 00:24:55

That will not be in the show notes.

Ella: 00:24:58

Becky, thank you so much.

Ella: 00:25:00

I wanted to touch base with everyone, offer them a few reminders about who they are, because, frankly, we are pretty powerful beings.

Ella: 00:25:11

And one of the reasons, I think sometimes that we're so avoidant of our own needs and our own wants and our values and our priorities, I think we can be avoidant because we're scared of our own power.

Ella: 00:25:22

And let me tell you something, I get that.

Ella: 00:25:25

But you were designed to operate in your gifts.

Ella: 00:25:31

Becky does a lot of work about helping you dial in.

Ella: 00:25:34

I hope you'll check her out.

Ella: 00:25:35

Becky, where is your favorite place to be found?

Becky: 00:25:38

I'm all over social media.

Becky: 00:25:40

Handle on all the social channels is.

Becky: 00:25:43

Are not stuck.

Ella: 00:25:44

You are not stuck.

Ella: 00:25:45

Becky, thank you so much.

Becky: 00:25:47

I've loved talking with you.

Becky: 00:25:49

Thank you for all the work you do.

Becky: 00:25:50

Ella, wait, wait, don't go.

Ella: 00:25:52

Because Becky and I were talking off air and then I was like, wait, we need to record this.

Ella: 00:25:56

So, Becky, I was just asking you about some of the events that you do.

Ella: 00:25:59

You were just telling me about something that you're doing at the end of January.

Ella: 00:26:03

So I'm just going to insert this so people can hear our behind the scenes chatter.

Ella: 00:26:07

Tell me what you're doing in January, Becky, When?

Becky: 00:26:09

Oh, my gosh.

Becky: 00:26:10

Yeah, thanks for including it.

Becky: 00:26:12

I'm excited about this one.

Becky: 00:26:13

I'm doing one at the end of January that is going to be so cozy.

Becky: 00:26:18

It's going to be at a lakefront lodge in the Midwest.

Becky: 00:26:22

Think taxidermy and hot chocolate if that's your vibe.

Becky: 00:26:27

But the cool thing about it is it's going to be just for women in sobriety or women who are sober, curious.

Becky: 00:26:34

So an alcohol free weekend.

Becky: 00:26:37

Just think like warm twinkle lights and fuzzy socks and sit in front of the fireplace and we're going to have daily yoga and meditation and journaling and manifestation.

Becky: 00:26:47

Oh, and s'mores and hot chocolate at.

Ella: 00:26:49

The end of January, Becky.

Becky: 00:26:51

Yeah, yeah, last weekend in January.

Becky: 00:26:53

So January 30th to February 2nd.

Ella: 00:26:56

Well, listen, we are women supporting women.

Ella: 00:26:58

I'm going to share this at the end of the episode.

Ella: 00:27:00

So.

Becky: 00:27:00

Hi everyone.

Ella: 00:27:01

I just wanted you to know about that.

Ella: 00:27:03

I'll put everything in the show notes.

Ella: 00:27:04

Send it to me.

Becky: 00:27:04

Awesome.

Becky: 00:27:05

Thank you.

Ella: 00:27:05

See ya.

Ella: 00:27:07

Okay, if you enjoyed today's show, please share it with someone you care about.

Ella: 00:27:11

And be sure to check out our new YouTube channel and head to onairela.com for today's show notes.

Ella: 00:27:17

You can also learn about how to work with me there on airella.com and I would love to hear from you.

Ella: 00:27:23

So if you DM me on Instagram, I promise I will reply.

Ella: 00:27:27

P.S.

Ella: 00:27:27

all the links you need for us to connect are right here in your podcast app in the description for today's episode.

Ella: 00:27:33

Check them out.

Ella: 00:27:34

Thanks for listening and thanks for inspiring me.

Ella: 00:27:37

You are, quite simply awesome.